I came across a psychology board on pin interest saying ” How to teach people how to gain respect from others. In today’s culture, we seldom mix respect with honor. Honor means to esteem someone’s worth highly, while respect means to regard somebody. We are not mandated to respect people (See King David and Shimea, 2 Samuel 16:5–13), but it is a command to honor people.
Looking at scriptures like Genesis 4:5 and Numbers 16:15, we see how respect is used in context. Cain’s offering was rejected because he gave something that did not show regard for God. His giving reflected how he saw God. Abel, on the other hand, gave his best. So, we have a choice to accept or reject respect.
Deuteronomy 17:11 talks about judgment, that we should not have respect for persons. Many times, people pass wrong judgment on us, saying things that are not true about who we are. You should not accept wrong judgment, because if you accept it, you will pass it on to others. This is how it spreads, even in families.
Respect is born out of love. That is why a man is told to love his wife, and the wife to respect her husband. Without love, respect cannot stand. This is why respect is not something you demand.
In 1 Samuel 25:35 and Psalm 4:4, we see that we should not respect the proud, and that respect is tied to the covenant of God. In the Old Testament, people kept the laws of God, and in the New Testament, we have a new covenant by the blood of the lamb.
Ecclesiastes uses parables to liken respect and honor, like a dead fly that produces a foul odor. So, in parables, honor and respect are sometimes used interchangeably, depending on context.
Lamentations 5:12 shows that in judgment, no one is regarded. So, you should not respect a judgment that is not in truth. If someone says a person is a thief when they are not, you cannot regard that judgment. This is where oppression begins.
God is not a respecter of persons. When we do not respect God’s people, even those serving Him, God will not regard us. The respect we give is the respect we receive.
Respect is how a person is. It is part of identity. A person cannot respect you if they do not respect themselves. When Cain gave a poor offering, it showed how he saw God, not who God is. So, respect is not about how you are, but how the other person sees.
Luke 18:2–4 shows a judge who did not fear God or regard man. Because of persistence, he responded to the woman. So, persistence can make people regard you, but that is not real respect. It is pressure, not truth.
In Luke 20:13 and Mark 12:16, respect is also shown in different contexts. The Bible says you can reprove an elder but not rebuke them. If you reprove a wise man, he will love you. If you reprove a foolish man, he will hate you. Not all older people are wise, as the book of Job shows.
Romans 13:7 says we should render to all what is due. You give respect to those who have it. If a person does not have respect for themselves, they cannot give it to you.
A person who does not respect their own body will not respect others. They will think everyone is like them. You cannot produce what you do not have.
So, asking people to respect you is often unnecessary. People who ask for respect may be trying to fix something within themselves. The Bible says do not respect the proud. Many times, people demand respect because they feel they are losing it within.
Habakkuk shows that God raised the Babylonians, people who did not fear anyone and were gods to themselves, to carry out His purpose. This shows that even people without reverence can be used by God.
Honor is positional. It is to esteem someone’s worth. Genesis 49:6, Exodus 8:9, and Exodus 14:17 show that honor can be gained and expressed in different ways. Exodus 20:12 commands us to honor our parents. But this does not mean accepting wrongdoing. Honor your parents in the Lord.
Leviticus 19:15 and Numbers 22:7 show that honor can be a choice, while Deuteronomy 5:16 shows it as a command. Judges 9:16 and Judges 13:7 show how Abimelech was honored by people, even though he was not the most honorable.
So, honor can be given by God or by men, and it can be influenced.
In conclusion, honor is a command, but respect is a choice. Respect comes from within a person. If someone does not have it, they cannot give it. So, you cannot force people to respect you. For more interaction on respect see the Samaritan woman and Jesus’ conversation. John 4: 1-13.